Without a Paddle

Out with Lili and her newest couchsurfer Shen

I don't completely understand the expression "up a creek and without a paddle", does it mean you're screwed because you're heading down without any control? I'm not sure...but regardless of the expressions true meaning, I presently feel up creek and without a paddle.

I'm in Paris. It's Valentines Day. I've got my fifty pound backpack--and no where to go. It is moments like this that make feel weak, moments when I think that I just want to hop on a plane and go see my boys. My couchsurfing requests have all been turned down (understandable that people want to be with their loved ones and celebrate Valentines) and my time ran up at Lili's this morning. I really don't have enough money to stay in a hostel and I also don't really want to be in Paris anymore either.

I'm spending a few minutes in this internet cafe to wallow for a bit. I went for a run this morning and it made me smile to see all of the men who were walking down the street with flowers and loafs of bread. Sitting here now though, this vision is making me jealous. I think about how nice it would be to be getting flowers...or better yet, bread! The smell of the bakeries is enough to make me want to spend my days throwing up---for just a few moments of flakey bread goodness. It is extremely difficult for me to eat over here, mostly because of the language barrier and the fact that I'm broke. I've had Celiac's Diesease for 6 years now, I came to terms with my lifestyle a long time ago. However, Europe has presented new temptations that I've never faced and I do have moments when I want so badly to try a crepe, a crossiant, a beer, a pizza....oh what I would give!!! Alas, feeling sorry for myself is wasted energy and time. I refuse to spend my days with negatitive engery--so I stop now.

I realized as I walked up the 422 steps to the tower of Notre Dame yesterday, how little I put in about the history I experience over here. I really only get an hour here and there to write, often I can't upload photos....so there is so much about my trip that goes without note, like the day I spent in Pompei (there's not a word in here about what a cool site that was). I'm an emotional being that copes by sharing (and don't we all know---I share it ALL). So while I might have spent my day seeing the most impressive historic buildings known to man, it is my feelings/experiences that I ulitmatley feel compelled to write--especially when I'm only given a few minutes to share. I'm sure that if I actually had someone here to talk to, I'd be better at sharing just the facts...until then, my blogging auidence will continue to be my silent friend....lucky you!! LOL

To break my own norm for a bit, I will tell you a little about Notre Dame. Construction on Notre Dame began in 1163 and took 200 years to finish. Walking inside of the main towers is physically exhausting, the stairway is narrow and looooooonnnnngggg.... Although the 422 steps are broken up into 4 levels, you feel like the stairway just might never end. I don't know how preists and they're long robes made it up and down--it seems like a death trap to me! The inside of the steps are worn down, which made me think about how many thousands of people for how many hundreds of years have been climbing up and down those steps...it's a cool feeling to be walking on the steps of history, even if it litterally takes your breath away! The Chimera gallery was my favorite part. It was this part of the tour where we walked on the balconies adorned with gargoyles. I did get someone to take my picture with one, although it would have been funier with a friend to have gotten to do a bunch of funny photos like other tourists were doing.

Well it's time for me to move on...Courtney and Lauren will be going to Florence tomorrow so I'm going to try to make my way back to "the homeland". I've been told there is an over night train to Milan, hopefully I can make that and then go on to Florence from there. As always I don't have set plans--until the end of the month---when I'll be going to Prague!!! A friend from Eugene is moving back to Prague and invited me to hang with him, I'm really excited to be going there! WAHOO!