Yes Woman

June 26,2008:

I really want to explore the world and experience new things. I'm done missing out on opportunities. I'm ready to live life for me.

Above is a quote that I found in my journal today. I started that journal during one of the most difficult times in my life. During this particular entry, my ex-husband and I were “on a break”. I had rented a small room out of someone's house close to work, although most nights I was still staying at home with him. Walking away from Scott was one of the one hardest things I’ve ever done. After this entry I ended up moving back with Scott, trying once again to repair our marriage. Ultimately this failed, for I was home just only weeks before I was so betrayed---there were no pieces of the marriage left to pick up.

Re-reading my journal takes me back to another era in my life. And although I know I’m “so stinkin young”, it really was another era for me. I was married, that alone seems really WEIRD now! Married at 20 years old…now that I’m turning 24, I realize just how little I know!! But enough digressing….my former era…well that time in my life revolved around fear, pain, addictions, abuse, and more fear. I was so afraid of being alone, so afraid to completely change my life. I was dependent on my lifestyle/vices and co-dependent on everyone except for the one person that I should have been: myself. Now of course, I wanted more out of my life and boy did I sit, moan, and complain about it. I longed to travel and explore but I was simply all talk and no action. I did NOTHING to help myself, nothing....until Italy.

Italy, Italy, Italy.... yes, I could write for hours on the topic! For just making the decision to drop everything here to go, changed my entire mindset on life. It's as though once I opened up myself to new possibilities, opened myself to change and to life...the doors started flying open. But I’ve talked plenty about Italy, so let me get to the point (yes, there is one).

Why am I heading back to Italy next week? And what's up with Egypt?

Well a couple Monday nights ago I was driving home from work when I got a phone call from my friend Ryan….

(Ryan was the Navy guy in Catania who saved me when things fell thru with the host family. Ryan is also the man that I got my random tattoo with, who followed me along my castle break-in, who took me to Taormina where we thought our car was going to go off the cliff, the man who picked me, Court, and Bella at 3am from a train station when I came back thru Sicily a month later....I could go on...)

It wasn't unusual to hear from Ryan as he and I have stayed in close contact since I’ve been back home. What was unusual about this phone call was the question he posed, it was something along the lines of “hey--do you want to fly to Italy and come on a trip to Egypt with me?”

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM…

Let’s take a pause here.

Have you seen the Jim Carry movie Yes Man? If you haven't---you should. His character learns to go from someone who stays unsatisfied with their stagnant life to someone who says yes to change, yes to opportunity, and yes to life. That's what I want to be!!! I want to be a Yes Woman!

Do I want to go to Italy and then to Egypt? Do I want to spend 4 days on a cruise ship in the Nile? Do I want to spend the weekend in Cairo and go see the Pyramids?

YES, YES, & YES!!!!!!!!!!!

So I’m going---it’s as simple as that!

It’s amazing. One year ago I was so miserable I couldn’t see straight and now, I’m preparing to visit my third foreign country of the year. I'm not the woman who just journals about the life she wants anymore, I'm actually living it. This trip is beyond exciting and I feel blessed. Blessed to be the woman who is experiencing new things. Proud that I’m living life for me. Ecstatic to say that I am a YES WOMAN!!!!!

More details to come later.